When death comes unexpectedly

On Monday night, my aunt’s husband struggled hard to let go of his last breath at 7.30pm. It was 24th October, 2011. It was my last day at work before I head for Diwali festival. I had taken annual leave for the rest of the week to splurge on this celebration in a rather mellow spirit. Just before I left office, I had to make sure my colleague will take over my commission during my absence. I stayed over till late 7pm and keyed in my KPI online into the TTMS system since the due date is around the corner. As I happily completed my work and kept my laptop and other stuffs into my locker, I set out to leave office since it has already dark, way into 7.30pm. As usual traffic congestion never cease on a working day in KL city. I made my way through the jam although I was wedged there for about an hour or so.
As I reached home and walked into my living hall, I was greeted with somber news about the passing of my uncle. I dropped down to my knees on the couch. How could it happen? I know my uncle has been sick for some time and I confidently thought he will pull it through since he had been in the face of death 6 years ago and managed to cheat death. It all happens so quickly and the next thing that strikes my mind was, “What about Darshi girl”? She is barely 8 years old and she has seen her mother (my aunt) suffering in malignancy a year back and now she has to face another harsh reality of losing a dad, which is just too much at a tender age. My aunt (my mom’s youngest sister) has always been close to me since I was a kid. So when such a poignant incident befalls upon her, all of us couldn’t help feeling so much for her.
My uncle was 52 and he was inflicted with chronic liver disease. What was happening was because he had this illness, the pain was unbearable for him and also my aunt watching him suffering. He was hurting here, then there. The doctors couldn’t figure out what was the best treatment for him. They eventually, at the very end, give up on him. The disease spread so that it went into his bones and his vital organs failed. It was awful. It was awful for him and the rest of us. That was it; and he succumbed just two days before Diwali. Death is so final. It is always hard to lose a loved one. It is sad and sobering reminder that we are here but for a minute. We are all visitors to this world and one fine day, we will have to depart. We bring nothing back with us when we leave this material world. How much time do we have? Not a lot.



It is especially hard when a loved one touched your life has to go too soon. Every day you fail to tell someone you love that you love them is a missed opportunity. Because once they are gone there is not reset button. No undo function. Just a painful reminder of missed opportunity.
All of us especially my aunt is going through a grieving period. She has to put up a brave front with losing her husband and a father to her child. Darshini is too young to comprehend on the loss of dad. My family and I stood by her and gave all the moral support and financial assistance that she needs to move on to a newer life. I feel bad that this has to happen to him since he was a generous person for all I know. At this difficult phase of life, we are able to know who is our real friends and family. My aunt needs motivation to cope with the void and support to move on in life in a positive manner. Only then I realized life is not easy. Where’s it written that life is easy, or fair? I guess everybody takes things differently. If we can’t share the sorrow of your loved ones, then you are no human since someday it will be your turn to face the harsh reality. Life is so unpredictable, so do not think life will be good for you all the time.
I’ve spent years shaping my ability as a writer. I’ve worked my way through to develop the creativity and precision to express my ideas in fascinating ways. But I have hit a dead end here. There is no sorrow of a magnitude greater than that which my aunt, my cousin Darshini, our family and friends are now facing. There are no words to describe the inside of a black hole. It’s hard to believe we lost a soul. So do we lost that part of us which we held: a family member, we will never forget his kindness and his generosity. I am glad that I did rush down in time, to the wake to pay our last respect for my uncle. May His Soul Rest in Peace.

Halloween Hoo Haa

Late October in KL had been a wet and gloomy time – the days grow shorter and colder, the cold breeze encircling, many days are cloudy and wet – but Halloween adds a lot of color, fun and excitement to the West.

Halloween is actually the night of October 31st, which falls on Monday this year. Halloween is an annual festival celebrated mostly by people from the west. Halloween imagery includes themes of death, evil, occult, magic or mythical monsters. Traditional characters include ghosts, witches, skeletons, vampires, werewolves, demons, bats, spiders and black cats.

Black and orange, which are the traditional colours of Halloween, represent the darkness of night and the colour of bonfires, autumn leaves and jack-o’-lanterns. A jack-o’-lantern is typically a carved pumpkin associated with Halloween. The top of the pumpkin is cut off with the flesh scooped out and a monstrous face carved on the outside of the pumpkin surface.



Halloween activities include trick-or-treating in costumes, carving jack-o’-lanterns, bonfires and attending costume parties, telling ghost stories and watching horror films. Halloween has its origins in the ancient Celtic festival known as Samhain which is a celebration of the end of the harvest season in Gaelic culture. The word Halloween originated from the word “All Hallows’ Even (evening)’’, the festival celebrated on the eve of the “All Hallows’ Day’’, now universally known as All Saints’ Day.

Although Halloween is not widely celebrated among Malaysians, more people are dressing up in costumes and going for Halloween parties. Let’s spread the excitement of Halloween here; Happy Halloween!!

Living a Lie

During all these years, I have seen people from all walks of life become unfaithful and live a life with deception. Why? Their reason was, “there are too many hypocrites in this world.” As a result of ditching the doctrine of life, they themselves become the very person they are judgmental — a “hypocrite.” Sometime ago, someone I knew well, once came to my house by all means just to express disapproval of another family known to both of us. The next sentence was something I will never forget, “I am going to see them pay for what she has done to us – they’re all hypocrites there!”



To which now, it is not a surprise to see them join the club of hypocrites. I and mom just recalled the big hypocrite’s desperate call to find my house just to condemn the other circle of people. I can still remember word by word uttered in anger. There’s always room for one more hypocrite to fill in the gap. Hypocrites pretend to have a belief, opinions, virtues, qualities and feelings but in reality they don’t. They are just living a lie out of their deception of others.

Let’s look at this line of reasoning by asking ourselves this question: Are there not “hypocrites” in all walks of life? They exist on the public places, the highways, family circle and in business. They are everywhere. Although you may not eradicate them totally, yet you can’t stop from mingling with people, or driving your car, or working for a living because of them? Of course not, it wouldn’t be practical. We sometimes fail to notice the “hypocrisy” of our acquaintances, family members, colleagues when they cheat on their opinion and beliefs and we do not cease to pray the lord because the man of deception practices the belief of the same lord.



In the workplace, do we not see fellow employees who are not giving one hundred percent? Do we not see employees leaving work early, coming to work late or not showing up at all? What do we do? Do we quit our employment because there are “too many hypocrites” in our workplace? Certainly not. Do we stop socializing just because we see more of hypocrites walking past us and put into practice their deception? We faithfully espouse genuine conviction of life one hundred percent effort no matter what any other hypocrite does because that’s what the Lord requires of us.

I decided I would get out of the pool and let my presence be known. I smiled at my mother and said; at least you have seen what a hypocrite looks like and walked away. At least I have done my justice to let others know the identity of a hypocrite mingling in the crowd which is capable of moral double standards! It is a shame if you forget what you have bitched about others sometime back if in the end you fall into the same herd. Bravo hypocrite! You deserve a place in the hall of shame!

P.s. My note has got legs and could fly in through your mailboxes quite popularly. So look out for one. Call me a controversial writer or pretty tough woman with guts, at the end of the day; I am a woman of word whom speaks right on your face than writing letters behind your backs! Have fun reading and take the moral message across for your learning and not to create a chaos if you're a sensible and educated citizen of the society! Cheers

Are Busybodies Born That Way?

One thing that annoys me the most is the attitude of some pest-like people around me. I live on my conviction that I like to live my life my own way and in privacy. And I never fancied poking my nose into other people’s affairs which seem fair enough. It just goes the way I like it, “live and let live”, which is why I just can’t comprehend busybodies. What makes them so? Why do they need to know so much about everything and everyone around them, when it has got nothing to do with the functioning of their life? I really can’t help but feel revolted by their behavior.

Looking back from my experience, I have a few busybodies in my lives; buzzing around persistently, and looking out for channels to get ‘hot news’ and ways to disseminate pointless information like bees in a garden. I shouldn’t be doing injustice for the bees here which seemed unfair to them. By the way, is it of use for others listening to such hearsays? I still hear lingering news about how others ‘interested’ into what I am doing rather than their business. Isn’t it such a pain in the ass? Those morons who fall into this kind of characters should be ashamed of themselves for confirming outstandingly that they have got nothing better to do.  The questions which quizzes me is that, why do they need to be inquisitive about things that don’t concern them?



Are busybodies born that way or does life turn them into obnoxious nosey parkers? I would think that anyone with a fulfilling life has enough to think about without worrying about his neighbours or the rest of the world. Is it a lack of excitement in their lives that has those seeking vicarious thrills in other people’s business? Or could it be a lack of tranquility that has them itching to meddle in the routine affairs of their friends and family?


I can summon up a good example of a woman who lived next door. She seemed to spend all her time at the window peeping to watch the goings-on in the neighborhood daily. I presume she has enough of chores to keep her busy with a huge house and family to attend to. But she never does what she is supposed to do.
To spice up things, I came across another concealed busybody that seeks in the pleasure of knowing each intimate whereabouts about my life as in what I am doing, whom I am going out with and when am I getting hitched and etc etc etc through a third person. He claims to be educated professional and yet he is making a fool of himself to explore into my life. Doesn’t he have some decency or has he been ever taught about basic of ethics? Then, how would you call him educated here? I believe he has not come to terms about principles in life and how to live by it. Presumably those kinda creeks need to be taught some fundamental decorum before he sets out into the real world. He is not the only one, but there are more in that genre lurking around me, it can be a she or a he, they are just everywhere like the annoying creepily crawly…Haaha!

It wasn’t a very comfortable way to live in if you ask me. I don’t give a damn about theirs, then why should you bother about mine? All I can think of is probably, lack of an occupation, or even an absorbing hobby, turns many people into busybodies. If you have nothing to hold your attention your mind will start wandering in directions it has no business heading for. Books and music may work for some, pacifying the need for something to fill the gap in their lives, but not everyone is so lucky. Some turn to cyberspace, and end up making a profession of meddling in the lives of people halfway across the world from them, people they’ve never even seen leave alone met.
Busybodies these days get easily carried away by social media like FB, Twitter, and Google+ which more than often pose the threat of platform for conspiracy and gossip, with stories getting spun and blown up faster than you can create them. It amazes me the way people attribute motives to the actions or words of people who may or may not be what they profess to be on cyberspace. How completely pointless!
I know this is turning into a rant but I seem to have encountered more than my share of busybodies in the recent past. It begins to rankle, especially if you haven’t discovered a foolproof way to deal with them without being hopelessly rude. I’m looking for inventive ways to deal with the busybodies in my life.

My little dog -- a heartbeat at my feet

It has only been a year since I own a pet of my own. Despite the shortcoming of an experienced pet owner, I can certainly vouch with absolute confidence that pets have an uncanny ability to teach humans certain things better than any person can. Pets might not be able to talk, but they can communicate a heck of a lot about human relationships.
Trust me, a heck of a lot things can be learnt by owning a pet. Right from responsibility, to unconditional love: which are just a few of the perks that come with owning a furry member. Our little furry friends can't talk, but their unique way of communication can teach us to be more intuitive, which can in turn help humans in personal development.


I adopted my pet doggie almost a year ago when he was the only survivor from the rest of his siblings and mother whom died mysteriously one by one. It was so tragic for this little cutie to have lost nine of his siblings and mother. Dad found him at the park where we used to go for evening jogs. Daily we used to spend a couple of minutes before & after jog to play with the mother dog that has grown attached to us. At times we bring some food for her since she had babies and need to milk them. It was on late December when the remaining pups and the mother went missing and the next moment, dad told me all of them were found to be dead. The sole survivor was none other than the doggie we adopted to give him a place and family since it was barely 1 month old. Ever since, he was our bundle of joy. Life was even sweeter than ever. After all the months, I learnt so many things that a pet can bring to our life.
Dogs are especially good at teaching us what unconditional love is. Their love knows no boundaries. No matter however you are, all he knows is to show his affection in abundance and brighten up your day after work. When you come home, they are always glad to see you. He appears with excitement and swishes his tail without tiredness. They are always going to be with you no matter how rough life gets (in contrast to many humans unfortunately).This is what I call unconditional love.
Even at times if I accidentally hurt when I stepped on him in the dark, they always forgive you. All they ask for in return is food, shelter and attention. Dogs in particular, give you tons of love back and personally, I think us humans get a darn good teaching out of this. Besides, another value that we ought to learn is responsibility. The arrival of pets in general comes with the package of social obligation. That cute puppy is not like a stuffed toy that can be left alone when you are finished with it. It needs attention in terms of hunger, healthcare, and also attends to his nature calls.
“The more I meet people, the more I love my dog” without a doubt epitomizes the loyalty of a pet dog. A dog’s loyalty knows no boundaries. Their loyalty can put any human on shame. Interestingly enough, we learn precious lessons through our pets daily.I never stumble out of the house and get off into my car to work without saying goodbye to my doggie. A pet on his head will make him stand up on his toes and wag his tail to appreciate your attention to him. A dog wouldn't let you get away with disappearing for nine hours without a word, nor would he like it if you came home without petting him on the head. While it may seem trivial, simply acknowledging your partner and wishing him well goes a long way.
I sure have get angry at him over the munched slippers of mine, but the moment I see the guilt and genuine apologies in his eyes, I inevitably cuddle with him immediately afterward, unable to remain angry. That is the love he taught me. It goes a long way for some humans to learn all the good values that a pet can teach us. Until one has loved an animal, a part of one's soul remains unawakened.

Sweet Surprise

This morning as I was savoring my usual morning coffee, my phone buzzed silently. As I quietly turn to reach out for my phone, I caught a glimpse of fairly odd number flashing on the display of my mobile…0301. In a jiffy, I knew it must be my honey bunny across the seas. If anyone would have seen me would have witness the sparkle in my eyes with a dash of smile indicative of my euphoria at that sec!
The moment his voice hit my ears, I was so excited and emotional at the same time. It has been a week since he left for US and I was tuned to adapt to singlehood devoid of his frequent texts, and calls. Oh geez, I must confess it is certainly not easy for me to feel the void. His exuberance brings a sense of new meaning to my life. My perception towards life has evolved to a different level. There are a lot of resemblance between us and also differences. It’s more or less like yin and yang effect. And we both blend it perfectly fine by working out the balance altogether. It’s just us. That is the way we both get along pretty well.
As any relationship, misunderstanding is common and the beauty of it is we both sit and reason things out in a mutual consensus. That is how we have been going strong for the past 4 and half years since we met. Life has been good to me; blessed with lovely parents and sister, a perfect career, wonderful friends and a life serenaded with tranquility and happiness and now with a gift of life. Each day when I get up, I would pray for the blessings of life God granted me.
Sweet surprises takes me off my feet and breath away for a sec! I am lucky indeed!

Imperfect Judging the Imperfect

Just the other day, something really captured my attention which excites me to ramble about. Couple of days back when some whiff reached my ears which knock into my senses which made me probe further about it. It is none other than judgmental.
What I don’t quite comprehend the fact that most of us does not have self-realization? Before passing remarks about someone else, why can’t any of us take a look at ourselves first and only then decide are we in the right sense to criticize another being?

Do you have the privilege as prospective juror to pass remarks about another? Are you so perfect (in your mind alone) to do so? Have you turned to look at your back and start exploring about yourself (or your family) before you was to criticize others? Who can judge another?
I hate to ask all these questions but you need to ask this before you pass remarks about another person; which is morally not right!
‘Imperfect judging the imperfect! Sounds ironic to me. In daily life when we pass small judgments on others, are we not throwing stones? You may think they are deserved but have we the right to do so?

What if someone you know is judging you? It doesn’t feel very good. It doesn’t make us feel valued. You may begin to qualm your worth or your decisions when someone judges you. Don’t you think so? Most of the times, you can be judged for your skin color (dark vs. fair), your frame of mind, or your bad jokes. Also you would end up being queried for your decisions, your actions, or your faith. How do you defend yourself then? Do you find it fair for you to give people a boost or is it more entertaining for your ego to tear them down?




I’ve had people say to me that they are not judgmental which contradicts coz at the back of me, they tend to throw stones at me …but I want to say, “You are perfectly imperfect, doesn’t that seem something is not right about you?” If I look beyond them, it’s amusing to see how much of flaws they have and yet can have knack to comment on others. So often, it happens these days that I don’t give a damn about them and I treat them like a speck of dust on my shoes. Simple as that.

The world would be a better place to live in if ONLY all of us make an effort to be more tolerant, more loving, more compassionate and sensible. After all, we do not know what that person has lived through or what their experiences have been during their life. We must understand that all of us are from different walks of life and hence, we are nurtured to different ways of thinking and lifestyle.
Each person has an exclusive right to their own thinking. They can be wrong in another point of view! Yet, they still have the right. I do not enjoy anyone telling me how to think or what should I do. I’m sure most people feel the same. Respect goes a long way when it comes to judging others.
When we put ourselves in someone else’s shoes, only then we realize that we may not know all the facts. We then realize that they deserve more thought than we may have given them. Sensitivity is vital when it comes to deciding not to pass judgment in normal life circumstances.
From my point of view, no one can judge us besides the Lord himself. It’s good to watch your words of criticism by looking at your own faults before judging others. If you’re so used of passing remarks about others, take a look at yourself as an outsider and I’m sure you’ll find more than enough things to judge. I just wanted to put my two cents in worth for your tact. Some of us may like to think they are better persons than the rest of the world but I am afraid to say, you’re not and we all are not! It just our pride talking.
My advice would be: “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all, just shut up”

Oh! It’s my friend’s birthday...

It was a heavenly Sunday morning. I twitched my eyes to catch a glimpse of the bright blue skies from afar. Oh it is Sunday! I reached out to my phone by my bedside. And the digital clock shows it was already half past 9 (am). All I hear faintly was my mom’s voice calling me out, “Rise and shine”! Nishaaaaaaa……..The clarity in her message gets across straight into my senses and my immediate response was sit up at once on my bed without further ado. It is not out of obligatory (since I am famed for being a rebel!) but out of trepidation that she will use that as an excuse to nag me the entire day. I just want to have a pleasant Sunday. Hehehe…Nevertheless I would admit she is a wonderful mom whom allows me to sleep longer than usual on weekends and not someone orthodox like those days parents who disapproves girls getting up late! It is a custom practiced from those days. Mommy was very understanding in that sense and many other circumstances. I would never exchange her for another MOM! Ahax! She is just the way I want her to be and I love her since she has always been my bestie.

I gotta hurry up since I have lunch date with my girls at Spice of India. Spice of India offers the best in Indian fine dining with restaurants located right in the heart of the city. It is an exclusive restaurant which epitomizes metropolitan KL lifestyle by serving the delectable Indian cuisine in a stylish, contemporary ambiance. It’s the time of the month to dine and celebrate our bestie’s birthday, Dida! We were on time that day. Though it was crowded, we managed to make our way through the mall without much delay. I and Sheila managed to reach there first and make some small surprise arrangement with the waiter there right before Dida made her grand appearance. As usual we girls get excited when we meet and exchange hugs and greetings. Only after a couple of minutes we made up our minds not to make our growling tummies wait any longer. We quickly grabbed the menu and started skimming through the rather exclusive menu. As usual Dida was doing her crazy jokes of the cuisine names which were rather amusing. The waiters were watching us from far but we are just a bunch of crazy girls and couldn’t be bothered about the surrounding. Finally after all the laughter’s and jokes, we buzzed the waiter to take our day. He quickly jot down our selection of food and whisked away.





While waiting for food we were chatting away and out of bolt (as if I and Sheila didn’t know the sweet surprise), the waiter brought the cake for Dida with the candle lighted up. She was surprised indeed! That was the reaction we wanted to see on her face for knowing she has a wide range of gestures in her. Hahaha…Glad that made her happy as indicated by her wide grin flashed across her face. We sang “Happy Birthday” and fed her the cake. It was a nice day to start with. We sat there for hours and talked and laughed like crazy girls. Someone asks us, “Are you drunk?” Yeah intoxicated with caffeine in coffee and ecstasy in our mind. Probably a great rejuvenation for a tired soul!



Verdict for the day:
100% Craziness+ Euphoria+ Relaxation+ Good Ambiance+ Good Buddies
Food was not too bad. Quite pricey but awesome ambiance and service.