Shoo Away the Flu Bug

As the date of my nuptial hour is getting closer, the more hectic I am and I never knew that the stress level is increasing and it just goes on and on.

I just can't wait to get this OVER soon. It's like I’m off to a war and exhausted at over thinking of strategies to get this over with. I've never stopped sighing since the first day of this marathon prep wedding hahahahha. But, I am grateful for having a wonderful and a good criticizer Mom to help me with this event. Without her comments and her ideas, I wouldn't get things 50% done by now. Thank you Lord!!

What’s even worse is, I felt sick on New Year’s Day and it never got away till today. My fever kicks in off and on. I hate going to clinics but to tell you the truth, nowadays doctor’s prescription is not helping at all. It looks like I need to go and get 2nd diagnosis (end up with a jab and another stack of medicines with foul smell! Arrrgghghhhh) or else my wedding work will be on hold. It’s just left 12 days to go.

The only work I am trying my best to distribute the wedding invitation cards and get the RSVP reply from there. I am yet to sort out the emcee and performance dilemma for the wedding reception. I and my fiancé is working on it day and night, by all means getting the contacts. During my 2 weeks of viral infection, I had to hand over the wedding works to my fiancé whom came in as my savior to sort some work in progress. He was most of the times left all alone to make decisions which I felt bad too but I was just too sick to be up on feet.

Today, the 16th January, has arrived with much anxiety. I completed my 2nd session of quarterly review and awaiting for more surprises (or shocking news!!!) for my project team. My boss gave us hint that we will be shortly notified about the big changes going to take place in our project. More like re-aligned projects with new members and bigger tasks coming along. Health wise, the post-influenza is not so easy to cope with. But I’m way way much better than I was last week or even 2 weeks ago. Even my colleague rejoiced the moment I laughed at her jokes, “After so long I am seeing the old you”! Great, looks like I am back on track!

I wouldn't be able to blog much these days. Nevertheless, I will try to slot in even the shortest ones if I can catch the time. But, I’m sure I would blog out my entry with wedding pictures 2 months from now :) Stay tune!

My Last Days of Single-hood

My upcoming wedding at the end of this month has triggered some spur-of-the-moment introspective reflections about my life and my single status and what that has meant to me over the years. I can honestly say that I have enjoyed being single. There were times when I wasn't in a relationship that I thought I was so over being single, but those moments were short lived and infrequent. I've always considered myself to be a fiercely independent person and I have been (and still am) comfortable being alone. I not only enjoy my autonomy, I've embraced it. Let's face it, I'm getting married at the right age I believe which is at the age of 28, so I've had the necessary time to get to know all about me and what I want and don't want out of life. I've lived my life the way I want it to be, and my parents seems to be the one whom has always been there for me!

Getting married wasn't a mission on my life's little checklist which had to be fulfilled immediately. I went through my adult life with the attitude, "If I found someone I wanted to grow old with (and I have...thank you Raj), then great, and marriage might be something that happens." But, if it doesn’t, I would go on living my single life with ease. I mean, why do people have to be part of a couple to be happy? I've have seen many of my friends or relatives in a relationship that ruined their life where actually at one point of time, I felt why we can be happier being alone!

There is still a stigma attached to single-hood (especially women) and it seems so medieval to me. I have heard old relatives asking me when your turn to get hitched is. It’s as if, staying single for long is a sin. I've been in groups of friends where most of us were single, some of us were married and some already seeing someone and yet we click together and still hang around as if we are single. That’s the way we look at life. Very outward and enjoy being in the company of girls. Are you kidding me? My life always looked better to me in anyway. Envy me!
I've known women (even few guys) who were desperate to get married because they no longer wanted to be alone. I personally never looked at being single as lonely but in fact I look at it as a gift of life. I looked at it as the freedom to make my own decisions and choices without having to consider someone else. I also looked at single-hood as a teacher, allowing me to become strong and capable all on my own, which it did. My mom thinks I am pampered by dad so much so that I don’t know how to be independent. But when she goes away for holidays and I am left all by myself to fend for my needs and also dad, that’s when my independent nature steps in auto mode. I can make my own dishes; I can wash my clothes; I'm comfortable going into any restaurant by myself, ordering a nice lunch or dinner; I've been out to do my shopping; I've lived in big cities by myself, bank transactions etc etc. These are just a few things that I, as a single person, learned to do and I am very comfortable with doing them. I almost feel my intellectual and emotional growth would have been stunted had I not stayed single so long.

Now, I don't want my single friends out there to think I'm abandoning them by getting hitched. I'm feeling a little guilty about that to be honest with you. I accidentally found someone I don't mind spending the rest of my life with and marriage is our way of celebrating that. So don't single me out during our usual getaway or lunch dates :)

Although, I don't think I'll have the opportunity to miss being single (unless my future husband doesnt keep me entertained!), but I have a feeling somewhere deep down in my heart, I will miss the things i did as singleton and things I couldnt do in my single years. Believe me, I'll be the same person even after the wedding vows are said that I am now. Maybe my time will be dedicated to another soul here with me for the rest of my life. It doesn’t mean my autonomy and freedom will vanish into thin air. Just because I will no longer check the "single" box under marital status doesn't mean my independence and autonomy goes out the door with it.

So, I have no regrets at staying single for so long. It was the best life choice I could have made (for me). On the flip side, I'm also looking forward to growing old with Raj and starting new adventures together while keeping my independent spirit in tact. And also being me till I grow old. I am who I am.

Welcome, 2012!

Welcome 2012! It’s here. It felt like it was the beginning of year 2011 and now it has move into 2012. I can only imagine that a year from now will not go by any slower! So really, you have to just LIVE it up! You have to make the most of everyday! I have always made plans for New Year Eve but this time around, I decided to be low-key due to tiredness of last couple of days for my pre-wedding photo shoot and shopping for bridal attire. Now all I need is sound sleep and good rest!

Happy New Year! How did you ring in 2012? I tucked myself comfortably into my bed and fast asleep when the clock struck midnight. I've never been the one to party the night away (although I did during varsity days, not booze but fun-filled ones), much preferring to rest up and spring from bed on New Year's Day feeling refreshed, bright-eyed, and ready to set the tone for how I want to live the coming weeks and months. But I was delighted when several texts and calls from friends and family awoke me at 12:01 am!

After a flurry of back-and-forth best wishes, I slept 'til 9 am, and then spent a wonderful day yesterday in peaceful yet productive meditation. I organized the room cabinets, played with my doggie for awhile, took a nap after lunch, and thought a lot about my 2012 intentions. Because there's nothing like the start of another year to get us reflecting on what we'd like to do differently...

For me, 2011 was a huge time of upheaval, and I know that it was for many of you as well. Here's to a 2012 that feels more settled. Here's to creating stability, to taking care of ourselves and of each other, to finding the things big and small that make life easier and more enjoyable for us all. I'll be thinking and sharing more on this topic here, so stay tuned. Cheers to new beginnings!

It’s my 100th post!

There was once, my blog was left dormant for some time. I had always liked to pen down something that interest me, social issues, things that annoys me or daily ramblings etc etc. The scope of my writing can stretch beyond the horizon. I started writing when I was well into my secondary school. I used to jot down my day-to-day happenings more of a simple diary. After sometime the habit of writing fade away to which I vaguely remember why that was so. Then when I hit my sophomore year back in university, I rekindle my passion for writing once again. It started from Friendster social network blog which saw my firsthand piece of work. Then it moved into real blogosphere upon proposition from my good friend, Chandra (I bet you was an ardent fan of my blog). But it took awhile for me to kick start things as I have already set my step into the real business world where I need to make space and time for my enthusiasm to flourish.

I thought I'd eschew any vestige of melodrama by being as insightful about my point as possible. But knowing me, it was always going to be difficult! It is not so much that I have goofed- just that I've become more of a workaholic, actually being busier than I ever expected. Undoubtedly, this has affected my blogging. I cannot tell you the number of entries I have started only for them to be lost somewhere into the thin air. Somewhere.Needless to say, the passion of blogging remains -- as does my passion of all other things in my life. Sounds like a good thing to have, right? I am glad, though; to have been MIA in the longest time I ever felt, my everlasting love for writing never ceases. I guess life is like that: we're all shades of gray, and a LOT of work-in-progress.Suffice-to-say, I am back-in-action to regular blogging since July 2011. When I was already seeing the withdrawal symptoms, I decided to get up with a bang and avoid my passion from ebbing away forever. I was just gone on hiatus and not forever! Now on January 2012, I am proud that I have already hit the 100th post! It is encouraging for me to write more.

2011 in Retrospect

2011 was such an amazing year. Reflecting on the year that has come to end, so many things have happened that I came up with key words that would best describe it.

Blessings. Surprises. Possibilities. Opportunities.-
Decisions. Beginnings. Farewell. Challenges.

I have tried to re-cap some of the moments that have taken place in the past year:

Research Project Recognition: I have been working on my research programme since I was attached to Sime Darby Quantum Leap from year 2008 but it was only in July 2011 that I got to rejoice the fruit of my work when the recognition of our team work was reflected in the form of my thesis being recognized and published in the plant journal. Publication is an important acknowledgement for researchers which we look for. I’m so thankful that my work has been recognized for its quality and contribution to our own oil palm breeding programme.

Refocused Career: I have finally made the leap over unlikely impasse in my job. The challenges came at a time when I felt that the sun was shining ever so brightly and it was time to move on and explore other opportunities. All I can say is that God certainly laid out His plans for me very well. He has such perfect timing! I am proud that I could handle so much of challenges in short time and never to let down my manager.

Engaged: And I thought that my days would be full of obligation-less, when I was taken off my feet by my dashing prince. I’m sorry guys; I’m engaged and no more single anymore! I felt jittery at first but after sometime I felt excited and on top of the world. Aside from my usual bubbly and carefree self, I was introduced to more responsibilities, as a soon to be wife. Not yet there but almost there! Ha-ha!! This paved the way for me to meet other lovely people from all over the family circle of my fiancé who introduced me to his family with so much of pride. This also led me to fulfill my compulsion as his soul mate.

Weddings: My close friend; from first year varsity and my room mate ever since; another friend from my undergraduate class; tied the knot this year. I was part of the wedding celebration in two of these weddings. It was a lovely moment to see them hold hands with their loved ones.

Death: The family bid goodbye to my uncle (my aunt’s husband) who succumbed to acute liver disease. It was such a shock to us that he was diagnosed to quickly and to leave the family too fast. I take comfort in the fact that he is now beyond suffering, illnesses and pain and that he endured all these while. Only regret he has to leave behind his little princess who is barely 8 years old. Another death that made me realize that life is short is my best bud’s brother who succumbed to leukemia. I was devastated in the face of many deaths that happened throughout this year. I appreciate my life more and decided to take a optimistic approach to life since then.

Friends: I am a people-person. I have been blessed with friends who are supportive and who would stick with me through thick and thin. This year, I have been equally blessed by meeting new friends whom I actually feel that we have been such for so long. I don’t know, call it – karmic ties, having the same wavelength, just being comfortable with each other, or just simply hitting it off. I am just so happy to have these beautiful and wonderful people in my life. I’m forever thankful to God for sending them to me. Yeah me and my best girls had met get-together this year and our bond grew stronger..

My ‘Happiness Project’ entourage: It has been a year full of appointments, running up and down looking for wedding dates, venue selection and decorations. It was fun although quite tiring with lots of complicated decisions to be made. I learnt to do budgetting, wise decision making and not to trust others to do my work. My parents was definitely helping me with the preparations and management of things. Thank god for them or else I would be left in blues.

Pets are Blessings: 1st January 2011 welcomed a new member on board, my pet doggie. He is such a darling for all of us. Pets can really teach us humans what love is and gratefulness. I saw the unconditional affection in his eyes each day. It never fade and it is eternal. He brought joy to our household and makes life more fun!

Actually there was many more in year 2011. Just that I couldn’t recall many other happenings after a whole year.
So that was 2011 for me. Quite a year, huh? My heart is so grateful for all that has happened, be it good or bad.