A weekend well spent

Last weekend was exciting (and it’s been something I looked forward) when I got back to my husband’s place to spend the weekend with him!!  After weeks of hectic schedule, finally we both made time for us to meet up for a quickie (super busy + super stressed). It was a lovely Saturday where we got to wind up ourselves. Just out of random, we both made up our mind to take an evening drive around the city to take a breather since the climate was super sweltering. So we hop into the car and my husband wanted to put his photography skills into action. I was excited to see the ‘photographer’ in action! It was this day that I became his ‘model’. 

Then… Ready, action, roll! Click! Click! Click! My hubby was rollin em’ with so much of passion! Pigeons, recreational park with burst of greenery, Sunway Water Park, heavenly garden landscape etc etc. I was in awe!

I have admired the work of many photographers for some time now, ever since I started having the passion with my not-so-great digital camera. Of course I didn’t own a DSLR but it will do with my simple camera for amateur like me.  But after our wedding, my husband quickly indulged himself into photography. Soon after, he got a DSLR for himself and started his venture whenever he travels, on weekends and during his leisure time. I was thrilled to know that there is a potential photographer in the make and that person is none other than my love.  The photo session cum time-together was perfect and we could have spent more than 3 hours driving around from one place to another finding for a beautiful location and interesting facet of nature that could capture our attention. 


I would love to post a few pictures of my husband’s shots! But I am yet to get it from him. Once I get the portfolio from him, I might update this post then. One thing for sure, he is simply amazing with his new toy and quickly picked up the skills to my surprise. I will be an ardent fan of his shots forever. Way to go sweetheart.

I seem to be getting energized after the trip although I was having lack of sleep and the fatigue of pretty occupied weekends.

Walk Down Memory Lane - Primary School Days

This morning as I was driving to work, I was slapped with nostalgic moments of my primary schooldays as I pass the Convent Primary School on my way to work. The beautiful memories came gushing and made me schmaltzy for awhile. Oh how I wish there was a time-travel machine in which with a zap of my finger, I can travel back to my childhood days. The memories were strong till it overwhelmed me the whole day. At the end of the day, I quickly flip through my photo folders after work and I came across one album which was filled with stacks of old photos of me during early age. Some photos are just God-damn random and some are candid’s.
I was thinking a majority of my readers do not really know who I am. So, what I plan to do with these folders, each filled with old school pictures is to take you guys for a walk down my memory lane. Oh jeez! My jaw dropped at the sight how plain and tomboyish I used to be. Can’t believe my eyes that it was me indeed!

So here it goes the nostalgia of my younger days in primary school…

I studied in three different schools during primary education where I almost forgot the name of my schools. It was due to the nature of my dad’s job that I moved from SRK Taman Meru, Ipoh, and then to an army based primary school in Gambang, Kuantan and for good at last I ended up permanently in a school in KL. So as to say, I lost in touch with friends from the other schools and the memories remain vague till today. Many say that Primary School is just a place where you “come and go”. They say it’s a place where you meet friends, go through childish situations, and then forget about the people and what had happened years later. But I still do cherish the little moments of the days where I transformed into a young women I am today. It shaped me with diverse characteristics, talents and it indeed showed me I had a rosy childhood compared to the unfortunate kids around me.

As I sat reflecting on my Primary School days, I would elucidate it as the most enjoyable days in my life. I was in SK Taman Koperasi Polis school where it was full of meaningful experiences and lovely friends. From a simple class monitor to the school prefect and finally a lead percussionist in the school musical team.

It was in this place that I actually grew up. From the very childish girl who would complain about little things to the girl who understood what real problems were and was eager to have them resolved. The independence that I grasped during the early days shape me into plucky, independent and confident women of modern days. My first class trip to Melaka, my passion in music kicked off in the grounds of that school till the dynamic Girl Guide member was just handful of activities I have mentioned here. But my experience is way beyond these.

From the first prize won in a Sport’s Day competition, to our first achievement in the inter-school choir competition and my most privileged musical performance headed by me and my best bud, Joanne at a hotel function in the heart of KL. We both were already trained in piano and organ respectively at that time. I can still remember the music teacher, Mrs Sri whom adores both of us and eventually coached us in music after school hours to polish our skills till we represented the school to district level (also our Girl Guide instructor). We were definitely her pet to the envy of others.

To many, they may have forgotten the friends they have met and the teachers who taught them in Primary School. But I still hold on to those memories created although I lost contact with the most of them whom actually left a lasting impact in my life. Those are the people who brought out the best of me, tap my talent knowing these qualities are needed for me to grow up and be who I really am. They believed in me, knowing who I will become later. Sadly the teachers that I adored and respected couldn’t watch what I have become today. They must be proud of their old student’s achievement.

What a lot of changes there have been over the years. It can be fun sometimes to remember what life was like when you were younger. The experiences will be many and varied as you may never forget for the rest of my life.

Love-Hate with performance appraisals

Once again it’s time for me to finally wrap up my FY by profiling the performance review into Sime Darby’s People Talent Portal. It’s like a football season where everyone walks in and out the meeting rooms with shots of coffee and laptops projecting their performance progress for their management team to evaluate individually how they fared in their task. I must acknowledge that my company has successfully designed a great system to recognize their employee’s talents and performance in their respective division for these two years since it was introduced in late 2010. Before that the performance appraisals went through many facets of changes that kept us wondering what the HR guys were doing! Apparently they failed in their KPIs for not developing a good KPI system for their employee.

The onset of this Talent Portal, most of us was in ambiguity since we didn’t understand a single thing even after their road show to brief us on the use and reason on why the HR implemented this system. Again they failed! Eventually when we began using it bit by bit and understanding the different aspects of this portal as time goes by that we finally appreciated it. However good it can be but the mere thought of going through 4 quarters of performance review with a panel of managers, self rating for your performance review and justifications for your competencies of the entire FY and worse thing is the KPI calibration meeting (which managers try to pull us down/up based on their liking) is painful and insidious. I guess most of the employee faces this same nightmare regularly. But why is this happening?

Traditional performance appraisals don't work for lots of reasons. It is more like a corporate sham whereby the exercise is the most insidious, tedious yet it has been a must-have in every organization performance evaluation system. Everyone does it and I believe almost everyone who has gone through it hates it so much. Many times we being scientists have raised the questions regarding the unfair performance evaluation for R&D to our director during our regular ‘Teh Tarik session’. How can you gauge a research executive if we accomplish our task (research project) in time but didn’t obtain the deliverables that we anticipate? Do you penalize us for the nature of science or acknowledge the effort and contribution? Reviewing performance is good; it should happen every day. But employees need evaluations they can believe, not the fraudulent ones they receive. They need evaluations that are dictated by need, not a date on the calendar. They need evaluations that make them strive to improve, not pretend they are perfect. Sadly, most managers are oblivious to the confusion they cause with performance reviews. To some extent, they don't know any better: This is how performance reviews have been done, and this is how they will be done. Since most bosses are told they can't give everyone top grades.

Ideally, a performance review is a key indicator of each and every employee’s performance objectively. However this is not the scenario in reality. This has become the practice of management domination where they send a message to their employees that the management’s opinion on our performance is the final call for career development, determinant of salary rise, perks etc. This exercise which was supposedly objective but I can tell you there is no such thing. For the past 4 years working in a R&D centre, I have experienced the totally different ratings of our performances simply when my department switched different managers (In the span of 4 years, my department was victimized with the switch of 4 managers). So where is the idea of fair and autonomous assessment? I don’t’ see it coming along over the years. All of us have prophesy that keeps ringing in our head that the bosses evaluation is really about their perception and subjected to nepotism more often than not. It is very unlikely for any employees to go up the career ladder if the managers does not ‘like’ you or even feels uncomfortable with you.

Obviously my company has a well established and efficient performance appraisal system, yet there are loopholes here and there somehow. Unless managers have some kind of strong intuition on how to spot an employee’s talents precisely and reward them accordingly, then it will be good. When HR came up with this idea of talent portal for their employees, transparency is the driving force to ensure a fair appraisal of their employees’ talent to be recognized. It is also meant to be the right platform for the employees to speak their mind to the bosses. However, any system implemented has shortcomings that affect us all in total. Some companies use the performance review session to point out employee’s weaknesses all the time instead of having a constructive session to find a solution to work it out. If a subordinate is not performing well, something is not possibly right. All talk and no action is pointless here.

During my KPI session with my boss, he didn’t not point out the weaknesses but rather told us that we are capable in what we are working on but learning is a process and we can spot on what are we lacking in terms of skills, knowledge etc and find solution to work it out as part of our people development which is more important than fulfilling the KPIs only. Well, it was put in a subtle way but I think it is true if you really give it a second thought. But my friends from other workforces are not so fortunate since their bosses tend to be too opinionated which on the long run it does ruin the confidence of employees on a personal level. Instead of being accountable for success only, the bosses should also be accountable for failures as well.
And the end of the day, performance review is a tool to blame the subordinates for any problems that is happening which I don’t think is fair. Eventually, it makes work lives miserable, the way it leaves employees feeling depressed and anxious. They end up having too little tolerance at home and that’s how family life becomes miserable too.

From my experience, my company has been a leader on leveraging technology to ensure synergy although they are some hitch. They have to make informed decisions and that can be a painstaking task if we can be in their shoes to understand. So both parties, boss-subordinate has to foster the communication and make efforts to reach a win-win situation. Only then the companies can tap talents and out of the box thinkers to reach the goal of the company. A constructive conversation is essential and it's become uncommon in workplaces these days. Only by hearing what the other person thinks, and putting that person's actions in the appropriate context, can you actually see what the person is saying and doing. This will lead to plans where together we can work towards the company’s goal in near future. The ultimatum will be drive towards results but not personality, ways to improve but not disapprove and last but not the least sustainability of the workforce. I believe performance reviews won’t get us anywhere (if the bosses persuade the subordinates to espouse their way of thinking) unless if it leverage on technology to provide more communication and transparency.
Time for new fiscal year performance plan architecture. Helluva work to come and I'm geared up for it!

Distance between two hearts is a test of true love

How a couple can remain close albeit living apart from each other after marriage? Each time I hear this, I wonder why it is a big deal. These are some of the questions raised by our families and friends ever since we got married recently. Is it a concern or a matter of tête-à-tête? I know some of them are genuinely concerned out of love for both of us. However, some questions in life, we don’t have an answer to it and I won’t lie that I prefer to lead the way to my life without knowing what is ahead of us.

People think that we're weird just because the belief that once you're married, you're supposed to live together. It just freaks them out. I am certain that we are not alone. Of recent times, I heard a growing number of young married couples are living apart (even in my office there are couples living apart and to my horror, they already have a baby! Can you imagine how hard this can be?). This is called the LDM (Long distance marriage) which isn’t really new. We are a young, career-driven couple, and if this is what we have to do now as long as we don’t have to do this later when we have a family already, then I’m ok with it. I would blame it on the rise of the cost of living that is the big factor of LDM.

Now, my husband and I have been married for a little more than 3 months, we both sit and reminisce what we had to endure during the dating years. And for that whole time we have essentially been in a long distance relationship. Little did we know five years ago when we got hooked up that we both will be staying apart even after wedding. I, live in uptown of KL and works as a scientist in a multinational corporation. On the other hand, Raj lives in Kulim 30km from Penang Island, where he works as an engineer. More than 400km away separates us but we are close in heart.

Raj, my husband, is a true gem. He works in the automation industry in US based company located in the heart of Kulim Hi-Tech Park. He goes out for business trip most of the time while I live and work in KL city. We are complete opposites: I am chatty, easy-going and I enjoy all things in the world of communications and science, hence why I work in the research industry and passionate leisure writer. Raj on the other hand encompasses all the personality traits of a stereotypical engineer. He is jack-of-all-trades, inquisitive of the gadgets around him, writing programme for his instruments from pretty much scratch. He is submissive at times, and will try to pose a simple solution to any question I direct his way. Although we are opposites, we complement each other with perfect fit.

I think I fell in love with him when I heard him say in the early stages of our relationship, "I want to live my life with you till my last breath”. I know it sounds cliché like some Hollywood romantic flick that I used to watch. It is cheesy pick-up line for guys to woo their girl. But I found his genuine love in his eyes and tone. He is like the romantic hero I use to admire in movies, I tell you. He very well knows how to make me happy and take good care of me. His interest in latest technology somehow entice me since we share the similar enthusiasm most often than not. He can’t spell to save his life, but I’ve seen him going all out to take good care of me. His concerns never fail to care for me. If I have had a bad day and he will be able to sense it.

I believe when we exchange the wedding vows, it simply means to love and cherish, every day of our life. True enough, it doesn’t imply that we both are physically together every day of our life. Family, friends, acquaintances—many have posed the question to me: "How do you do it, Nisha? Oh no I feel sorry for you to live apart" Or their eloquent gesture have thousand connotations. Most of the time, I shrug it off. It’s pretty annoying at times and I am getting jaded of it. Distance doesn't matter if you really love the person, what matters most is your honesty and trust for that relationship to work out.

I have cynically smiled at the funny reactions I get. Just because you do not see someone every day of your life doesn’t make them any less of your life. I truly believe in the test of our true love and it really reinforced our relationship. Despite the distance, we have a sterling tech-savvy relationship. Today’s technology allows us to talk at least more than three times per day, via Facebook, chat space or mobile phones and it just works fine for us more often than not. It keeps us connected together while we are far apart. 

We know this is not a permanent thing. My husband and I cherish the time we do have together and we are still very happy people. When we stay together, we have quality time together, and catch up with the things we left behind. We go to the movies, hop in for a long drive, enjoy late night cocktails and talk about where we would like to go for our next vacation. It's like the best of both worlds, I think. We got to spend our time together and then also apart. You appreciate the other person more when they come back. Of course it doesn't mean that we are choosing to live apart forever. The longest we have gone without seeing each other is 3 weeks. He came back probably five kgs lesser, a little shine to his face. I touched his sleek cheek and teased him that I have lost my cuddly teddy bear much to his tantrum. In fact he is becoming better looking than before!

Sometimes, even the best technology can’t help us by being together. Living apart is not something anyone hopes for. Distance living often means lonely weekends, having to attend celebrations as single, lack of shopping partner and even nothing to look forward after a long day at work. I have to admit though; this is one bandwagon I would have preferred not to have jumped on. But it’s the love for each other. We both know that despite the odds of life, we are going to have a beautiful life.

 

We learned our relationship could weather the distance and we appreciate each other more. But it wasn’t easy and certainly wasn’t something we wanted to do forever. Our family and friends think we’re crazy. I don’t think so. In some ways, I think this separation has brought about a renewed commitment to our marriage and to each other. Now, we work particularly hard at understanding one another. We don’t assume, as we once did, that we know what the other is thinking or even doing. We are looking forward to communicate in order to stay connected. Before life just gets into the way.

Of course it hasn’t been sweet and nice all the time. We’ve had our fair share of little misunderstanding but we somehow work things out mutually.  Being in a LDR takes a lot of maturity, sometimes more than either of us have. We’ve learned to give and take with each other a lot. Honey, I have always loved you before, and will always love you for time to come. We are one perfect couple although we are just not in the perfect situation and that is why they are many envying us when we both hold our hands and walked down the marriage life.

Does an apple a day really keep the doctor away?

This is a saying that has stayed on with us for many years. If I am not mistaken, it is believed to have originated from an ancient Roman proverb. The Romans truly believed that apples had magical powers to cure illnesses. It sounds cliché to me for years I grew up hearing it every now and then. Of lately my mom has been convincingly packing an apple together with my lunch as a snack to munch on daily. So this is when I started hearing the cliché again when I give her a cold stare each time I catch a glimpse of the fruit tucked in my thermos bag. 

Obviously, deep in my heart, I believe that apples are full of wellness factors for health. And knowing me well, my mom has to coerce me into eating fruits every day. I am fussy in choosing my food, fruits and whatever I consume. I pick fruits like berries, grapes, mangoes, watermelon, banana, kiwis, but tend to avoid certain gifted fruits like apple, oranges, pear, dragon fruits so on and so forth. Why? Simply because I have got bored eating these fruits since it has been there on my fruit basket every other day without fail that I became tired of it (And I am just lazy to peel the skin off partly). That’s very classic of me.

So what’s in an apple that screams out wonders compared to the rest? Since I do read a lot, I remember reading about healthy eating articles that highlighted the wonders of apples. Will you believe if I say that apples have many proven nutritional health values all in just one fruit?  Have you ever wondered how? So I guess the more conceivable reason for the saying lies in the core of what the fruit contains. Apples have properties that no other fruits have and its benefits have been proven overtime. Of course one can dispute the fact by saying that you can get all the benefits of these properties in other fruits. Why only apples? But an apple combines every nutritional value in just one fruit and makes it simpler. So you don’t need running up and down the fruit stores to get assorted fruits with different nutrients to cater your needs.

So, it rang in my mind that the next time when I am tempted to pass over the juicy apple to someone else, I will make it a point to remember the following miraculous properties it has that are worth considering for a quick bite:

1. Vitamic C - Apples are full with vitamin C which is good for our skin, gums and immune system. One apple is said to provide one-fourth of your daily requirement of vitamin C!

2. Pectin - It contains this natural chemical which has been found to help lower blood cholesterol levels and keep the digestive system healthy

3. Flavonoids – Apples are rich in these antioxidants which can prevent coronary and cardiovascular heart diseases

4. Polyphenols – It has the properties to reduce bad cholesterol and increases good cholesterol

5. B-Complex vitamins - help as co-factors for enzymes in metabolism as well as in various synthetic functions inside the body

Apples are low in calories and therefore eating an apple when you have cravings for unhealthy candies, tidbits or chocolates will replace the desire for artificial sugar intake.  It is also believed to prevent cancers, contribute to a healthier lung and above all reduce risk of stroke. Another feather in its cap! No wonder that the ancient Romans were convinced that the apple had magical powers to cure illnesses.

Remember, the principle of an apple a day keeps the doctor away is something worth considering and that is why I don’t reject my apples anymore. At the end of the day, my mom knows what matters is a healthy living and balanced diet that will keep us healthy and we may kiss bye to all those unwanted illnesses. So what are you waiting for, get your daily dose of healthy food.

P.s. Besides my husband has been another encouragement. He has been eating apples for dinner and he seems to be fitter these days. Thank you honey for convincing me and to my mom for her constant effort to influence me into eating healthily, I must say I love you both. (Source: Google)

Apple gadgets can do the magic too..Ha-ha

Nayati returns home

There was overwhelming relief and joy in Malaysia and several other countries when news of kidnapped boy Nayati Shamelin Moodliar’s reunion with his parents broke early yesterday. It was a thankful Thursday morning when the news of Nayati was found safely reached my ears. I was so happy and relieved to hear the news from social media. Nayati is back home after his 6 days ordeal with the kidnappers. For the past one week, the boy became a sensational news to local and international media where posters of Nayati Shamelin Moodliar was distributed across the country, at restaurants and even on private and public vehicles.

The boy was found at the R & R Sg Buloh early last Thursday morning, May 3rd along the North-South Expressway at 7.55am. The parents, police and relatives rushed to the scene to be reunited with him. It was learnt that Nayati was left at the highway rest area by his kidnappers after an undetermined amount of ransom was paid (rumor says it was close to RM300k!). The ransom was given a night earlier at an undisclosed location in Cheras.

A source close to the investigations revealed yesterday that the kidnappers had contacted the family within 24 hours of the boy being forced into a car near the Mont Kiara International School last Friday. The kidnappers made contact through a social networking website, instead of the conventional method of using the handphone. "This is the first kidnapping case here where the suspects had contacted the victim's family through the Internet instead of using mobile phones," the source revealed. It is learnt that the kidnappers had initially demanded a ransom of RM1 million, but after negotiations, the amount was reduced (Source: NST.com.my).

However although there was widespread of publicity blitz for a kidnapping case, it shows that we as a human being felt for the plights of the parent when their child was kidnapped. Just put ourselves in their shoes and we will understand. Personally, I was overjoyed and relieved to see Nayati reunited with his family and back to his normal life. Today I am writing this after 2 weeks of the kidnapping, I was even happy to know that the police nabbed the suspected kidnappers involved in Nayati’s case as quoted in the malaysiandigest.com. I have attached the link below for your information.

It’s not only a word…

Today was just one of those days where everything I did reminded me of you and every song I heard somehow brought me to you. I know you’ve been busy, I had things to do too. We haven’t talked for some time, I wonder if everything’s fine with you. I had other stuff on my mind, I’m sure you did too, but I just had to tell you this baby…I miss you. You may be out of my sight… but never out of my mind…

Days go by so fast, but there is not a single moment where you never were in my thoughts. Life feels incomplete when you are not here beside me. I know we both have been living apart due to our careers and it has been sometime since we have seen each other. Somehow it is that very moment when I was feeling not well that I just wished you were right there with me.

It’s YOU. You mean everything to me… you are the first thought in my head in the morning when I wake up and my last thought before I go to bed.

I can't really tell you how much I miss you now but I am sure it is a little too much. I Miss You!

It's That Time of the Month…

“It’s that time of the month” is the most unfair reason hurled at women when they are found to be cranky or ill-tempered. But it is not all the time when the red flag is up, women become emotionally subtle and cantankerous. Most often than not, women do show signs of irrationality during their pre-menstrual period. If your girlfriend come down a little too hard on you for a trivial mistake or your sister freaks out and become more than usual sensitive over absolutely nothing; Oh maybe it is that time of the month where the red flag is coming up! 

When God created women, he wanted us to be special with strength to carry the burden of the world yet gentle and caring. One of the blessings is the gift to produce and nurture a living soul in the realm of motherhood. We are his beautiful creation in this world. For ages, women’s biology remains as an exceptional gift to bring a new life into the world. And therefore menstruating process is one manifestation of it that reminds us as we go through the period every month. Aside from the physical pains that we go through –backaches, bodily discomfort, fatigue, cramps etc, menstruation can really knock us down emotionally. Out of blue, a gamut of emotional outburst which is unexplainable sweeps us off balance. As a women that have endured both the physical and emotional manifestation of period, most often than not I am slapped with questions that nearly impossible for me to comprehend and what more can I explain to others around me.

There’s nothing worse than feeling dreadful and you know why but incapable to ease the feeling. Generally, since the onset of my period, I have struggled with PMS manifestation for years and the feeling sinks the week before my period appears. It’s nightmarish not only to me but even to those around me who knows me from near. I become very emotional at the drop of a pin, I get so stressed that I find myself quieter than usual and confine myself to solitary space and worst of all, anxiety slaps me. The mood swings tears apart my composure and sometimes my mind wonders, “what’s wrong with me?” To be frank, I could imagine meaningless things about everything under the sky. The next thing I knew, I am back to normal. Funny, right? But that’s how it goes for me when it’s that time of the month. I call this regular spells that I have taken a control of it. But somehow it gets out of my hands occasionally.  

So how do I explain this scientifically? Well, it is simple. PMS manifestation is associated to our neurotransmitter, serotonin’s interaction with estrogen levels in our body. Therefore days prior to shedding of the uterus lining, our body’s beta-endorphin levels declines significantly. Now this answers to all the complicated emotional outburst that we go through.

There is nothing one can do to stop the feeling.  Just wait for it to leave and try not to wallow ourselves and pull through it slowly. Sometimes I may find difficult to get out of bed in the morning. But somehow I keep myself strong and drag myself out of bed and make it to work. Don’t you think that PMS bring about confusion to our life? It sure does.

Of course I have tried all I could to ease the pain and symptoms but it is still a culprit. And to make things worse, daily stresses of life adds up to it. Men should try to understand that women has high tolerance level to cope with all the stress and kiss away the troubles but not at this time of the month as we are controlled by our hormones level that leads to our irate behavior. So if you can’t lend a hand to them, might as well do not hurt them.

Perhaps a warm hug and words of affection may keep them in spirit.  

Balinese Coffee- A must try for coffee lovers

As I sit here in my cubicle, with the chill atmosphere (it is air-conditioned to the bones), eyes fixated on the laptop screen, mind working out my self-appraisals for year-end performance and I must say I need to sip on mugs of coffee at regular interval to keep me energized the whole day. Out of nowhere, my mind drifted to the thoughts of the famous Balinese coffee that made me long for it suddenly.

During my trip to Bali, I was excited on the sight of coffee farm visit on my travel itinerary. My tourist guide took me to a coffee farm on our way down from Kintamani. Bali has the one of the worlds most expensive and low-production coffee known as the Kopi Luwak or Civet coffee. Yes! The name elucidates that this coffee is made from the beans of coffee berries which have been eaten by the civets, then passed through their digestive tract which comes out in their feces. Sounds gross right! That’s how I felt and it was unappetizing to me. 

 The farm had two civets and according to the farm supervisor, the civets are very selective when it comes to picking the coffee beans to be consumed. Usually it only chooses the ripen, red coffee beans for their consumption. I bet they are expert in detecting the ripen coffee beans merely by the color changes of the fruit coat. To my surprise, this Coffee Luwak is pricey due to their low production. It was utter disgust for me when the thought of coffee bean collected from the feces of the civet cats that kept me feeling queasiness. 

 However, I must appreciate the beauty of the natural surroundings. The farm had huge bats, parrots, dogs and also home to various spices. I was enthralled by the fresh breeze coupled with a serenity of the place that captured my attention so much so that I was admiring the vista while enjoying sips of free coffee served at the coffee farm itself. Something I always love doing in the comfort of my home.  A must try for all coffee lovers. The variety of coffee gives us the rhapsody of the senses- Luwak coffee (Oh gross, I refused to taste it), Ginger tea (very rich in taste), chocolate ginger (it wasn’t a good combination to me simply because both chocolate and ginger are overpowering taste by itself), lemon tea (Very uplifting & it was my personal favorite) and Bali coffee (it is very coffeeish and powdery but I liked it anyway). By the end of the coffee tasting session, we end up in their patio-based shop and bought back few packets of Bali coffee as souvenirs.
 

Hate it or love it. Coffee lover never fails to drop by this farm in Bali. Guess what I and my hubby bid adieu to Bali with a cup of Bali coffee in the Ngurah Rai International Airport Café prior to our flight. Till we come back for more!

The feeling of void

Source: Christian Robert-Tissot

Suddenly, I’ve got a funny feeling that something’s missing from my life. It is very hard to express this “feeling of void” in words. But it is inevitably a feeling created by sudden realization that it is important to look into the reality of life when you feel something is bothering you deep inside. I did take a look at myself in the mirror and see where I am and what I am today. Void is a feeling so meaningless yet so realistic, strong and overwhelming. Each time it feels like I am engulfed into an empty space and the feeling can be dreadful. My soul in no doubt screams for help and fights against all odds to break free from the clinch of void in my life.

 Though I manage to convince myself that I am fine, that I don’t need anything, but I just need to take a huge break from the recent nerve-racking phase of my life. For the past couple of days I feel the hurt deep inside me. Sometimes, I just can’t bear the feeling so empty inside. It’s like I have become so numb. Perhaps I can hide the void for awhile. Maybe I can bury it under my piles of important work, datelines to meet or I can even conceal it by entertaining myself with what I like the most. But it won’t go away. And I so well know about it. It is still there; that something is still missing.

At the moment, I have a cluttered mind and too many feelings encircling me. I don’t feel the things I should. I can feel the void because I am searching for that emotion that I just can’t find perhaps a connection or it was never there. Sometimes the emptiness gets so bad that it becomes a physical pain, and no way to stop the hurting, and for days straight there is no way to get past the anxiety, the annoyance, the need for more than life has offered, and knowing there is something that can be changed.  

This is when I either choose to dismiss the past and go on or look back and face it with what could have gone wrong there. Or maybe there was nothing wrong after all. This is not easy. Today, I know what I have to do rather than fooling myself. I remember someone told me that it doesn’t matter what is bothering you but you must know what is more important in life now. The void will diminish only when you take control of yourself. Savor the beautiful life you have been blessed with, the relationship you have been gifted with and the reason for your existence on this earth. Nothing is more beautiful, nothing can give you more abundance than this. You will find your spirits lifted in joy!

Happy Birthday Mom and Dad!

Today is a post just to say "Happy Birthday" to two very special people in my life – my mom and dad. I know it’s coming a bit of late to post this but nothing is too late when it comes to expressing the love. I have personally wished them, gave them a treat and also got them a gift. And before one may query me whether do they celebrate their birthday on same day? No they don’t but in the same month yes! I am so very blessed to have my Mom and Dad in my life and sharing their bonus years is something so precious for me and my sister.  My dad was born on 28^th April and my mom on 11^th of April. I am planning a surprise birthday celebration for mom next year when she hits the golden year of her life. I love you both till my last breath.

Gym in my office

After months of stillness, finally we were told that we are having a gym of our own. It was open for free last month. It was great to know the fact that at last the management did understand that we need to have work-balance lifestyles. Our office senior executive called us all to attend a brief introduction to the fitness equipments available, on how-to-use the equipments and also to get in place our thumbprints access to the gym. For the past week or so I've been packing my gym stuff and heading off the gym with tons of motivation. Once I and my colleagues get there, we head on to pick the fitness regime that we prefer and get on going.

Of course you don't expect to get the ambiance and full range of fitness equipments but it is still a fully equipped gym with fitness machines like treadmill, bicycle, cross-trainer, stomach-crunch and many more. It was an effort that is worth mentioning since the management of our company agreed to fulfill our request for the benefit of all our staffs in having a work life balance.

It is undeniable that every day, millions of employees have a dangerous lifestyle that can risk their health. Most of us sit at least 8 hours a day in our cubicle and stare into our laptops for hours. Although I am a research scientist that juggles between my time in the lab cooking up some experiments and also churning out huge magnititudes of data in my laptop. Lately I end up doing the real science part where I need to sit and analyze data, devise a study pipeline, churning out documentations and working out hypothesis. Therefore, sitting for long periods in my cube is taking hard on my body. From the health perspective, I feel this slows my metabolic processes, increasing in the risk of putting on weight, and other unhealthy risk of life.

 I actually consider myself pretty lucky when it comes to fitness regime. I had always wanted so much to enroll myself in a fitness club but found it to be extremely pricey. Besides, given that my long commute to and fro and also not to mention my crazy work hours makes it difficult for me to go for fitness gym and do exercise. I am grateful that now there is a corporate gym in my office building that I work (although it is not huge, exquisite but it has an ample amount of fitness equipments for starters like me).

I am planning to work out more often than usual gradually as I pick up the pace. I am taking it nice and slow as not to strain or shock my muscles and body. And to tell the truth I am beginning to enjoy it. My husband has been my motivation since he has become a gym junkie recently after our wedding. He has promised to teach me swimming as he told me it is one activity that can cut down our calories very quickly.  So I am looking up for it.

I am looking forward for my next gym workout!