I've been in a huff ever since I got back from my honeymoon. Oh not as in my honeymoon was screwed up. It was fantabulous getaway for me and my darling. I'm so happy to be married; especially to the man I loved. But I am in such a flurry after the wedding, I feel like there is something missing even after 3 weeks. All I do is reminiscing about the wedding celebration every now and then. Is this normal? I know I need to get over it soon. But when? Only time will tell.
I got married around the end of January, and I’ll confess it that I'm still slightly fixated with reliving my wedding day. But I don't think we would want to reminisce anymore about the lovely wedding ceremony or the exclusively flamboyant and super rocking dance party at the reception. I can't really turn to my husband either, as he is as emotionally invested in the wedding as I am, and to make things worse, he’s 370 km away in Penang. After the excellent event, which we spent a year planning long-distance, he's back living and working in Intel and I'm back in KL; living with my parents. Talk about a letdown. I am married but single! Ha-ha. Everyone quizzes me wondering for how long we are going to be living apart. I and Raj could be physically spaced out but emotionally we are inseparable. That is the beauty of our love and relationship that we have nurtured for close to 5 years.
All these makes total sense. In the beginning, part of my life was at tangential just to plan the wedding- numerous meetings with vendors, the days to go look at banquet locations, the invitation selection, bridal make-up, shopping etc., etc. So there was an actual gap in my life whereby importance was exclusively for my marriage. Nothing else seems to carry a substance in my eyes at that time. It always takes a while to remember what you used to do with all of that free time! Then comes all the excitement that I have been building up for this big day and, no matter how great, it can always feel a little bit jittery.
It wasn't until I stumbled upon an article from the net when I was on Google search engine (I am definitely an avid reader) that I realized there was a term for what I was going through. It read, "Hope you're not too deep into the wedding blues (the feeling that no one really tells you about)." Bingo. It’s like it perfectly describes my feelings or at least more or less. It is termed as postnuptial depression (Sounds more like some clinical disorder but thank god it is not so). I was reassured! At least I am perfectly fine and not going cuckoo!!
Down-in-the-dumps scenario is a common in the lexicon of marriage for some time. And only now, I can tell you it’s real. I didn’t know get to know of the various impasse involved for a bride/groom when they step into the wedding wagon. It involves a lot of commitment, emotions etc etc. Of course, once the big day comes and goes, couples are forced to step out of their much-cherished and fabulous celebrity-kind-off- limelight and just get on with real life. Forget about all the frolic and fun. *Snap back to reality* ( In a zap of a finger)
I find that one the best approach to snug into regular living is to organize activities like thanksgiving party to all those that have helped during the wedding stint. Have your friends and family over to watch the video or invite them over for some tea when you get your photographs back. It's a good way to celebrate and re-live the beautiful moments and appreciate the best moments of your life. Taking time to be with your partner and to think about each other is always important.
Adequate rest and keeping ourselves pre-occupied should be on the cards as well. Most importantly, I was advised by the elders to communicate constantly; focus on starting to think about the future in terms of family, finance and career. Looks like it’s time that I should stop thinking as "the newlyweds" and throw out those wedding magazines, planners, checklists and start planning social events as there are plenty other parties to look forward to.
Since my husband and I are half a world apart, all I can do for now is rest and concentrate in my career, and learn to relinquish the spotlight — to one of my good friend’s sister who is getting hitched next month. It'll be worth it, as I know the high point of her wedding roller coaster will be another rockin' dance party.
Oh gosh!!! Of course, there is always the many, many thank you notes that I will need to write that will surely keep me busy as well till I have overcome the wedding fever.
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