My upcoming wedding at the end of this month has triggered some spur-of-the-moment introspective reflections about my life and my single status and what that has meant to me over the years. I can honestly say that I have enjoyed being single. There were times when I wasn't in a relationship that I thought I was so over being single, but those moments were short lived and infrequent. I've always considered myself to be a fiercely independent person and I have been (and still am) comfortable being alone. I not only enjoy my autonomy, I've embraced it. Let's face it, I'm getting married at the right age I believe which is at the age of 28, so I've had the necessary time to get to know all about me and what I want and don't want out of life. I've lived my life the way I want it to be, and my parents seems to be the one whom has always been there for me!Getting married wasn't a mission on my life's little checklist which had to be fulfilled immediately. I went through my adult life with the attitude, "If I found someone I wanted to grow old with (and I have...thank you Raj), then great, and marriage might be something that happens." But, if it doesn’t, I would go on living my single life with ease. I mean, why do people have to be part of a couple to be happy? I've have seen many of my friends or relatives in a relationship that ruined their life where actually at one point of time, I felt why we can be happier being alone!
There is still a stigma attached to single-hood (especially women) and it seems so medieval to me. I have heard old relatives asking me when your turn to get hitched is. It’s as if, staying single for long is a sin. I've been in groups of friends where most of us were single, some of us were married and some already seeing someone and yet we click together and still hang around as if we are single. That’s the way we look at life. Very outward and enjoy being in the company of girls. Are you kidding me? My life always looked better to me in anyway. Envy me!
I've known women (even few guys) who were desperate to get married because they no longer wanted to be alone. I personally never looked at being single as lonely but in fact I look at it as a gift of life. I looked at it as the freedom to make my own decisions and choices without having to consider someone else. I also looked at single-hood as a teacher, allowing me to become strong and capable all on my own, which it did. My mom thinks I am pampered by dad so much so that I don’t know how to be independent. But when she goes away for holidays and I am left all by myself to fend for my needs and also dad, that’s when my independent nature steps in auto mode. I can make my own dishes; I can wash my clothes; I'm comfortable going into any restaurant by myself, ordering a nice lunch or dinner; I've been out to do my shopping; I've lived in big cities by myself, bank transactions etc etc. These are just a few things that I, as a single person, learned to do and I am very comfortable with doing them. I almost feel my intellectual and emotional growth would have been stunted had I not stayed single so long.
I've known women (even few guys) who were desperate to get married because they no longer wanted to be alone. I personally never looked at being single as lonely but in fact I look at it as a gift of life. I looked at it as the freedom to make my own decisions and choices without having to consider someone else. I also looked at single-hood as a teacher, allowing me to become strong and capable all on my own, which it did. My mom thinks I am pampered by dad so much so that I don’t know how to be independent. But when she goes away for holidays and I am left all by myself to fend for my needs and also dad, that’s when my independent nature steps in auto mode. I can make my own dishes; I can wash my clothes; I'm comfortable going into any restaurant by myself, ordering a nice lunch or dinner; I've been out to do my shopping; I've lived in big cities by myself, bank transactions etc etc. These are just a few things that I, as a single person, learned to do and I am very comfortable with doing them. I almost feel my intellectual and emotional growth would have been stunted had I not stayed single so long.
Now, I don't want my single friends out there to think I'm abandoning them by getting hitched. I'm feeling a little guilty about that to be honest with you. I accidentally found someone I don't mind spending the rest of my life with and marriage is our way of celebrating that. So don't single me out during our usual getaway or lunch dates :)
Although, I don't think I'll have the opportunity to miss being single (unless my future husband doesnt keep me entertained!), but I have a feeling somewhere deep down in my heart, I will miss the things i did as singleton and things I couldnt do in my single years. Believe me, I'll be the same person even after the wedding vows are said that I am now. Maybe my time will be dedicated to another soul here with me for the rest of my life. It doesn’t mean my autonomy and freedom will vanish into thin air. Just because I will no longer check the "single" box under marital status doesn't mean my independence and autonomy goes out the door with it.
So, I have no regrets at staying single for so long. It was the best life choice I could have made (for me). On the flip side, I'm also looking forward to growing old with Raj and starting new adventures together while keeping my independent spirit in tact. And also being me till I grow old. I am who I am.
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