After telling everyone that you are engaged, you have to get to work planning that special day. Regardless of how big the wedding will be, you will still have the arduous task of making your invite list. And no matter how many people you plan on having, I guarantee you will have to make the tough decision of figuring out whom to leave off. Settling down to create a guest list for your wedding can cause a great deal of headaches, especially when trying to narrow down a final headcount in order to stay within your budget. It’s never easy, but making sure you do the proper thing is important as it will cut down on bruised feelings.
This is how I would describe my dilemma at the moment. The wedding invitations cards have been delivered to us to be disseminated to our guests within the next 36 days. My fiancé has a bigger family circle and hence, chances are his in for more of a challenge just to send the invite. Me and my family has weigh down which family members and friends should be invited by short listing the guests into a list by taking into consideration if they are important to you. A wedding is not about inviting people out of obligation. It’s about inviting the people who really matter to you.
Time and again, I have emphasized to my parents that I only want who would really appreciate being there and be happy for me. My wedding is not a time to pay people back or make others happy despite my own conscience. Bottom line is, if someone isn’t nice to me or my family, I wouldn’t invite them. Wait, wait! This is my wedding remember? I know by making myself clear in my decision to select my guests, I can hear my parents and other family circle feeling unhappy, “But that’s not realistic,” “People will be offended. I will be scorned.” The next thing I tell them, I want to invite the guests who will bless me and my fiancé and celebrate the happiness by making the day as special as possible. I know people who want to turn up to the wedding to ruin the fun or just to be busybody. So why bother inviting such people when I am paying up for a big chunk of the wedding costs? It is all up to me.
The guests list for the customary wedding is not so much of a headache for me. It is the wedding reception we are hosting at an exclusive clubhouse in uptown KL that is putting us in a sticky situation. The clubhouse concept reception is for small, intimate and exclusive for only very closed relatives, friends and selected colleagues. I can feel a big headache coming on when I sat down to short list the invited guests. One of my colleagues told me, extend the invitations to people whom you work directly with; the ones I saw everyday or I share the same cube/office space and had my lunch or even leisure chats in between office-hours.
Some of my friends, I have not spoken to them in years, or even texted. So the answer to my query is right in front of me. If I wouldn’t consider sending them a text-let alone an email, then I don’t owe them an explanation, let alone an invitation to my special day. There is a chance that some people might feel left out. However, the chances of that happening are a lot less likely if you are honest with them or if they understand that they weren’t close to us in these years. In fact I have subtly let people know that I am having a big customary wedding but an intimate small reception with only selected (by RSVP) guests. Given the current state of economy, chances are some of acquaintances, family members and several friends might actually feel relieved that they don’t need to come up with hundreds of dollars in travel expenses and wedding angpow.
A wedding is not an excuse to round up every lost friend you has known since you were 10 -- focus on people who matter now. To me it is a celebration of joy and blessings from the loved ones.
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