Family circle is something we are blessed with. It is not something like you can walk into a store and pick your own family members as you wish. I am fortunate simply because I am endowed with a lovely family (just my immediate family; parents, sis, AND also few others from extended family circle). The beauty of a dynamic family revolves around unconditional love, inspire to be, mutual understanding and support to hold us back when things can go wrong. At some point in time, family is there to make us believe in ourselves no matter what, to come out alive and kicking when the reality hits.

When your life takes a twist for worse, the closest person that you look up to will be none other than your family circle to step in to lift you up from the abyss to a better place. Obviously, the closer we are, the expectation takes off to a higher level. How can we hope for all the encouragements and concern from strangers? A big NO! Even the distant family members can gasp in horror what more a stranger. It makes sense altogether. After all, family is not some random connection of blood.



Over the time, mistakes happen. To err is human. Each one of us is unique in their own faith, attitude and perceptions. Family spats happen frequently due to differences in opinion, backbiting (a subtle topic which I will cover in my forthcoming posts), jealousy, disrespect and failure to convey our thoughts in a way not to hurt the other person. Most of us tend to forget the value of the relationship we share and how to treat each person with reverence. The bottom line is each of us has a worth and deserved to be appreciated. Not just treat them like your 5-year old nephew or niece. All hell will break loose when we find ourselves on the same social echelon but get disappointed by their lack of integrity in their reactions and what so not! It just drowns all our expectation. Apparently, family spats are rare in immediate family but commonly takes place in extended family or distant relatives. It’s purely egocentricity I would say. “Who’s the best here” kind of attitude are the root cause of this disputes.

In reality, 90% of family spats often contributed by immaturity factor. Strangely enough, the immaturity factor is a potential reason most of the time; in adults! What? Is that for real? Yes indeed it is (how I wish it was not, knowing the wisdom comes at the onset of grey hair appearance! Literally speaking or it’s my sarcasm making its presence). If younger people fall short to articulate the essence of their principles instilled by their elders, we can happily blame it on them. What if the elders fall through on this code of conduct? Who is culpable then? Either it’s their obstinacy to practice what they preach (Double-standard doctrine? Maybe they can go on preaching about the righteousness but not capable to walk the talk in their clear mind).

I have fair share of experiences with people of all sorts of characters. They can be blatantly annoying and more often sit on the brim of your patience threshold. I believe, these opinionated (often bitchy) people (women and men equally) got no life and often loves to backbite, get upset with each other easily for petty stuffs, gossip, and behave in a dramatic manner (they can even out beat the celebrities of soap opera or sitcom that we watch on TV on leisure time). They find other people’s business more exciting than their own! I’m perplexed with their interest. Funny though! The motive behind this entire baseless act is definitely everyone is on competitive edge. Believe me; I have seen it taking place in business perspective as well. As a researcher in one of the oil palm business conglomerate, the competitive edge between other top players of oil palm industry pushes us into what you call business resentment at times. It happens anywhere. Occasionally it should drive us forward in optimistic manner to improve ourselves but not to antagonize or belittle their capabilities. Same concept should be practiced at family echelon. At least this is what it should be like.

Little by little, I began to grasp the general idea of this sort of behavior. They are jobless and needs to occupy their time to the best of their ability. And this is what they can do BEST with. Which answers to the puzzle that we are trying to figure out eventually? I call them troublemakers. They freaking love to cause a pandemonium and get entertained by it. In the end all that comes out of their mouth will be, “I meant no harm, what did I do”? So when the other party gets really offended, they spew few hurtful things on their minds at them – that is when the troublemakers completely play innocent to get away with it. Fortunately, I remember that I do love my family very much and no matter what, if anyone says a word about them, they are not going to get away with it so easily. I wouldn’t trade them and my love for anything. I never really gave a damn for the rest.

Sometimes the way some circumstance unfold, familial frictions do happen. It just needs us to either step back and give it time, or step up and apologize – whether they’re in the wrong or not. But then again, it’s totally up to the individual whether to forgive and forget by looking at the degree of being hurt. After all, you didn’t choose them, but you’re all stuck with each other regardless. May as well make the best of it and be there for each other. It’s only a matter of time before the tables will turn and they’ll need your support. Hopefully you remember how it felt when they disappointed you and all of the trouble it took to make things right again. Then you can just swallow down that snarky comment, man (woman) up, and be supportive in every way possible.

Many a times I was poignant to see ruined family; in the case of divorced parents, abusive family or adopted ones. I should be appreciative to be blessed with a lovely family of my own. What’s more inspiring is I am going to be part of also likewise lovely family of my fiancé. The love and faith they have upon me is very welcoming. It’s my destiny to be gifted with a gift of life through the eyes and touch of a lovely family around me. Blissfully and fortunately right. At this point, I really don’t care about vain people whom fall short to cherish the beauty of sharing the love of family circle. I can only feel sorry for them for not being able to feel the joy of a family.