On Monday night, my aunt’s husband struggled hard to let go of his last breath at 7.30pm. It was 24th October, 2011. It was my last day at work before I head for Diwali festival. I had taken annual leave for the rest of the week to splurge on this celebration in a rather mellow spirit. Just before I left office, I had to make sure my colleague will take over my commission during my absence. I stayed over till late 7pm and keyed in my KPI online into the TTMS system since the due date is around the corner. As I happily completed my work and kept my laptop and other stuffs into my locker, I set out to leave office since it has already dark, way into 7.30pm. As usual traffic congestion never cease on a working day in KL city. I made my way through the jam although I was wedged there for about an hour or so.
As I reached home and walked into my living hall, I was greeted with somber news about the passing of my uncle. I dropped down to my knees on the couch. How could it happen? I know my uncle has been sick for some time and I confidently thought he will pull it through since he had been in the face of death 6 years ago and managed to cheat death. It all happens so quickly and the next thing that strikes my mind was, “What about Darshi girl”? She is barely 8 years old and she has seen her mother (my aunt) suffering in malignancy a year back and now she has to face another harsh reality of losing a dad, which is just too much at a tender age. My aunt (my mom’s youngest sister) has always been close to me since I was a kid. So when such a poignant incident befalls upon her, all of us couldn’t help feeling so much for her.
My uncle was 52 and he was inflicted with chronic liver disease. What was happening was because he had this illness, the pain was unbearable for him and also my aunt watching him suffering. He was hurting here, then there. The doctors couldn’t figure out what was the best treatment for him. They eventually, at the very end, give up on him. The disease spread so that it went into his bones and his vital organs failed. It was awful. It was awful for him and the rest of us. That was it; and he succumbed just two days before Diwali. Death is so final. It is always hard to lose a loved one. It is sad and sobering reminder that we are here but for a minute. We are all visitors to this world and one fine day, we will have to depart. We bring nothing back with us when we leave this material world. How much time do we have? Not a lot.
It is especially hard when a loved one touched your life has to go too soon. Every day you fail to tell someone you love that you love them is a missed opportunity. Because once they are gone there is not reset button. No undo function. Just a painful reminder of missed opportunity.
All of us especially my aunt is going through a grieving period. She has to put up a brave front with losing her husband and a father to her child. Darshini is too young to comprehend on the loss of dad. My family and I stood by her and gave all the moral support and financial assistance that she needs to move on to a newer life. I feel bad that this has to happen to him since he was a generous person for all I know. At this difficult phase of life, we are able to know who is our real friends and family. My aunt needs motivation to cope with the void and support to move on in life in a positive manner. Only then I realized life is not easy. Where’s it written that life is easy, or fair? I guess everybody takes things differently. If we can’t share the sorrow of your loved ones, then you are no human since someday it will be your turn to face the harsh reality. Life is so unpredictable, so do not think life will be good for you all the time.
I’ve spent years shaping my ability as a writer. I’ve worked my way through to develop the creativity and precision to express my ideas in fascinating ways. But I have hit a dead end here. There is no sorrow of a magnitude greater than that which my aunt, my cousin Darshini, our family and friends are now facing. There are no words to describe the inside of a black hole. It’s hard to believe we lost a soul. So do we lost that part of us which we held: a family member, we will never forget his kindness and his generosity. I am glad that I did rush down in time, to the wake to pay our last respect for my uncle. May His Soul Rest in Peace.
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