Poise reduced to rubble

Fortnight ago, I was compelled by my inner voice to write about another hitch of Facebook – a person’s confidence can be ruined that shoots themselves in their foot. Hypothetically, social networking sites in the mainstream of Facebook, Twitter, and Google+ etc should be best way for people with low self esteem to mingle and network easily. Coy natured people can say bye to uncomfortable silences, face-to-face conversation or weird gesture that was possibly a cause for their submissiveness. 

It struck my mind when I stumbled across many news feeds and research carried out on how Facebook may hurt the users’ self-esteem to a great extent since it has become an obsession amongst us. Most of us, to that matter even I felt that the concept of Facebook is really amazing to socially connect people from every corner of the world to reinforce their bond and also make new acquaintances in just one click away. Ideally, this concept of social networking may sound in vogue in this technology-savvy world. However, it seems to be unfavorable to one’s self-confidence.   

As the craze of social networking is taking the world by storm, more and more of social dilemmas are surfacing such as Facebook jealousy, Facebook depression, Facebook obsession, and the list goes on and on. Looks like obsessive Facebook users are headed up for various behavioral health-related disorders. So why does it have a quashing effect instead of the affirmative benefits to building relationship? 

According to one research that I came across that people on Facebook tend to sensationalize their lifestyles, feelings, and moments of life especially when everything about their life seems so ideal and more enjoyable than others. Obviously, not many would consider portraying their lives if it isn’t fancy, colorful, and something to shout about. Therefore for obsessive users who spent most of their time on Facebook, they were more likely comparing their lives with their peers or relatives wishing they had better lives than they actually did. Can you judge other person’s life if theirs was happier than ours based on their profile? I don’t think so. But this is what happens eventually.

Obviously, when more of enjoyable lives being shared and postings of unpleasant lives unshared tends to be the root cause of low self-esteem. People with low self-esteem are more likely to friend strangers and acquaintances that you hardly talk to, just to constantly yearn for their lives be like one. A simple example is when someone posts like “Had overwhelming weekends with Kardashian and Kanye West” or perhaps uploading tones of photos with you on vacation abroad, partying or simply anything. I don’t mean to say you can’t post pictures; yes you can but are more sensible rather than just creating a dramatic life. I would say it’s plainly seeking for attention.  

Personally, as a user that have walk through the different phases of Facebook age and today I am proud to say I have overcome the ‘growing pains’ of it by holding on to the quintessence of social networking site. The fad is fading out slowly. I began to look at social site as means to re-connect myself to friends that far away, too busy to meet up, or merely to share information and spread awareness on important issues (I mean serious ones and not trivial stuffs etc). Perhaps my maturity is at its pinnacle.

It does make a lot of sense to me. I don’t know if it does to you.

The more friends you have on your site, the larger the possibility of users to have lower self esteem of themselves according to research carried out. This is simply because people tend to compare with their friends life by looking at their profile or pictures of themselves having a cheerful life going out and about and how great their life can be. Looking at all these, it elucidates the fact mentioned in an article that the amount of time spent on social site is in relation to the depression symptoms.

So, Facebook may not be a great idea for those with low self-esteem after all.

Beautiful Moon

Last night as I was savoring the fresh air, I caught a glimpse of the most beautiful moon.  I am by a long way fascinated by this natural Earth gift.       

Just right after night dinner, as I walked in the portico filled with fresh air, so saturated with a simple yet fulfilling meal, I was mesmerized with the beauty of the growing moon.  In a jiffy, I was engross deep into figment of the imagination.  The moon was just there, right before me, in all its silvery glory, average and profound lying majestically over the easterly horizon. Like a lantern in the dark twilight sky, reflecting the mystic feeling it is encircled with. 

Despite having witnessed its presence in the night sky endless times before, its allure will never fail to mesmerize me, as I find it irresistible and my eternal love for this marvel never cease. No matter how many million times I looked out into the starry night, when there was a sparkling moon glowing amidst the clouds,  it appears enchanted and magical to me, as it always is in my perception.

Many times when I happen to catch a glimpse of the rising moon in the horizon, I never had the chance to capture the beauty which makes me feel regret. But this time I was blessed to have it captured with my android camera. Glad it turned out well and this ethereal beauty will be kept as memories.

The only memories that rush in will be the most unforgettable moment when I and my husband savored the splendor of the moon shining above the sea with its glistening shadow reflecting on the waves of water. It is etched in my heart.

Zouk Gastronomical Delights

Few weeks back, I gave a sweet surprise treat for my close friend, Kavitha for her 27th birthday at Zouk Cafe Bar @ The Gardens. Not only was I excited for it but also really felt this was a way for me show appreciation of our friendship. A sheer coincidence that Zouk Cafe is lovely place to spend leisure time with best buds. I remembered the last time I had snippets with my dear friend before she set off to States with her hubby.  

Zouk Cafe Bar is on the ground level, prominently located right next to the main entrance to the Gardens opposite of Midvalley. The café looks chic with contemporary finesse that makes its ambiance cozy for a relaxing dining. The concept is fresh and oozing with zing. The café bar comes with two dining hall; indoor and outdoor which is closer to the fountain. 

Both of us were seated in the lounge with a cozy ambiance where we get to feel serene in the midst of nice selection of music tracks being played. As we made ourselves comfortable in the cushiony chair, the waiter furnished us with the menu. With conversation still on the go, we ogled through the menu card to find something that can satisfy our appetite. The choice of food looks tantalizing fit for my taste. 

Kavi ravished on the pan fried salmon with a tropical juice while I went for chicken parmigiana with a splash of lemonade. Kavi’s portion of dish is just nice while mine was a bit huge for me (knowing me I am not a great-eater). But it was good for a lunch meal. I must say the scrap of fries was too generous for a person. The food was delicious and absolutely divine. Fresh coleslaw, crispy fries, tender chicken breast with a topping of lemonade was zesty to end the day with. 

The juicy Chicken Parmigiana

 

Savoury Pan Fried Salmon

 I enjoyed every bite of it and so do Kavi. A beautiful treat for my bestie. Happy Birthday dear! It was a fond memory of simple yet sweet celebration of birthday. I guess as we grow older, we prefer a quiet, warm and pleasant birthday celebration.

P.s. Can’t wait for our hi-tea in few weeks time!

June: A mere hiatus

June is a month with mixed emotions and events filling up the moments. Completion of scientific advisory meeting brings a new feel that euphoric rush of freedom, as I throw my super-tight schedule into the air. The relaxation time arrives and I am looking forward to be treated to the fabulous time of the year. Then, Father's Day was a special time to celebrate a day with dad. My good friend hamster is blessed with her bundle of joy last week. My senior principle scientist, Prof Sanusi retired just to be with his family in US. It was a saddest moment for all of us in office as he was a good colleague and supervisor. There are more things happening in June indeed. 

After a short hiatus from blogosphere, here I am back with a bang. I felt my mind gone astray with many things at the back of my mind. Perhaps I was just too tired of being tired for the past couple of weeks due for the SAC meeting. SAC meeting is a platform for the battle of the brains at the research centre that I am working with. It happens bi-annually which just drains away all my energy. After which we take a huge relief by sitting back, unwind and enjoy the moments till I regain myself. 

Mind you that this does not mean that I can totally whisk away from my project schedule. More challenging and intriguing stuffs can be felt through the progress in my project. In fact I am getting excited about it by which means I have more work to do and new things to learn. More so, my project carries the weight to generate genetic markers related to the trait of interest to be incorporated into the SD breeding programme as soon as possible. Excitement as well as stress is building up within me.

I need a break!

However, June is coming to an end. It’s time to say bye to June till we meet next year. 

Dad....

After much anticipation, the third Sunday of June has come and gone. For dads, this was a special day to appreciate their presence in a child’s life. And most of us must have been planning to splurge in a surprise bash to fathers and make them feel appreciated. As I got up this morning, I was deluged with thoughts of how my dad showered his overflowing love, compassion and overprotected his girls all these years, little that I remember. Indeed, Father’s Day is a day to stop-remember-honor a father’s devotion in everybody’s life. After all, dad is the most powerful icon which made our life worth living. Take a bow, dad! So, today I am all set to bring before you a dedication which will win your hearts for sure exclusively for my loving father. I believe I and my sister made best efforts to make his day memorable. A simple but sweet celebration of his day (he just doesn’t want to trouble his little girls although we would love to give the most luxurious celebration). That is simply how his beautiful heart is.

Ever since I was a little girl till today, my dad has been a constant, loving resource with lots of inspiring stories, recipe for a good life, and words of encouragement. My bittersweet experiences in my growing years of life in a blasé family, I learnt the most essential message that is notable; Parents will always be our best friends in the world no matter what happens. And trust me, most of you reading this post will be beaming in conformity. In that sense, I would be more than happy to say I am gifted to have non-authoritarian parents.

If a mother is a girl’s best friend, then fathers will be a girl’s first hero in her life. Right from the day girl’s step into the world, she is all geared to carry the burden of life in her fragile shoulder. Before you knew it, the little girl has become a young woman, and nurturing her isn't easy at all. It is pretty daunting task for any father. Now that I am a big girl now, it seems pretty amusing to reflect back on those years when my dad gets little edgy over me and my sister just to make sure we are perfectly fine wherever we are. I wouldn’t say things have changed now since we have metamorphed into independent, young women. Ha-ha! We are still his little princesses and savoring his affection for as long as we have him around us. I truly believe that a woman's sense of worth as a woman, and as a person, is commonly rooted in her experience with her father.

It is a blessing if we are bestowed with a really awesome dad as a guiding star, well-wisher, best friend and also a pillar of strength. If mothers makes home a heaven, fathers plays the role as the foundation to shape a child’s personality. As a daughter I can strongly vouch that my dad is a source of inspiration for me all my life in various ways. He makes us girls shine like superstar.
As much as I can remember vaguely, I remember dad works hard to give his little princesses a good life. In his early days of career, his salary was meager and that was the reason when he was away on some nights when work seemed to have no end for him. Though he knew his girls need his affection during our growing up years, he made sure weekends were exclusively for us. He’d take us to the shopping mall for one day out as a family. Over the years as we grew up, dad would take us for a drive around the city to savor the panorama, indulge us to a fine dinner, or a quick getaway to nearby town or holiday resort just to enjoy the time together as a family while giving us the best of our childhood. The best time with dad will be shopping spree. Simply because dad always let us gets things that mom usually would not allow us to buy. On weekends, if we don’t go out, running errands around the house, washing car together or the recreation park near to our house were perfect for him to take us for a walk or exercise. For a busy man like him, dad will fit in the quality time however he can. And my dad made sure we knew he loved us through time with us.

 

As a daughter, I believe dad is their very first man we look up for love and thus setting the standards for our life partner that will enter our life at some point of time. In fact, I saw the beautiful and loving qualities of my dad in my husband when I first met him fours year ago. The prince of my heart whom emulates all the fine traits that I saw in my dad. Lucky me to have them both.

Dad, you are a gift in my life. Your daughters are proud of being blessed with a father like you. Nobody can fill in the place of yours in our life. You will always be our superhero whom deserves our affection, love and care. Thanks dad for making me what I am today, for giving me a life, adoration, fondness and warmth. Thanks dad for giving me an angel mother; to whom I can look up to and makes our life colorful than ever.

I love you acha!

Watch what you say next time

I’ve heard many times before about the dangers of saying the wrong thing and it comes back to you in a form of sticky situation. Things that you say on the Internet will eventually, come back to bite you in the ass. A sad trend I’ve seen lately is the number of people who tweet or facebook while they are not in the right mind. Of course, they may realize it’s a mistake the next day (when they are in sound mind) and hastily seek to delete the post. But, unfortunately, it is too late for the damage has been done. We should forever remind ourselves and those around us of what we say. Others will re-post to you or somehow print screen what you’ve said. Worse still, it haunts us back one some point in time.
 
A couple of months ago, a USM student who posted a bomb threat on his Facebook account would have regretted for the consequent mess he faced. He allegedly threatened to bomb PM's helicopter that would fly the prime minister for a visit to the campus on his Facebook posting. Apparently, he made a grave mistake which cost him his fate to be in despair. Had he been a sensible boy, he would have thought twice to post something stupid like that (as if he has guts to do so). This is the downside of social network and people’s rash decision to publish things on the net. 

 
Whoa whoa… I won’t begin to speculate as to what prompted him to post something like this over Facebook for his friends and the other netizen to see. I will, however, repeat myself once again… Watch. What you say. It’s not that difficult, people. Do not sign into your social network when you are drunk, infuriated, miserable or whatever other emotional state you are in. It’s fine to share things with your network. I’m not saying you shouldn’t. But if you cannot be coherent and sensible with what you’re about to say, do you dare to spell it out loud?

Social network like Facebook, Google+ and Twitter is for networking, not for you to invite more trouble for yourself. People should always be careful about what they say online. Watch out. Think about what the hell you are madly typing. It can be a message, a comment or even the shout out that you put up. Look out what have you written and try to make sense what you’re saying before you hit that post button. After that one click of the button, you are accountable for what you say and it will haunt you for the rest of your life. So the rule of the thumb is avoid from posting things on social network that you will regret sooner or later. Simply because one day, odds are good that someone stumble across whatever you say, and it will come back to haunt you. 

How many of us are conscious that social sites these days are paradise for ample personal information about oneself. And thus, most of the netizen are vulnerable since they are easy prey for criminals and who not. One would realize that there are so much of personal details can be found from someone’s social profile page. Usually, the photos and wall posts can give people a pretty good idea of who you are, where you are, and what you’re doing. Social sites have become a fad for younger generations and even more worrying is, it has influenced even the elderly generation. Funny right? More and more users are turning to Facebook, Twitter or Google+ to chronicle their lives and socialize with friends. However of lately, I’ve been learning from the words passing around that the actual intention of these networking sites is reaching way beyond. Photos and personal details shared have gone beyond the friend’s circle which is a grave concern today.


Another very controversial issue popped up recently when one insensible young lady posted racial slur remarks in FB creating a colossal uproar across various social echelons. I must say it infuriated all the Tamilians in Malaysia by the unjustifiably and tactless statement that she made. The provocation statement has taken the cyber world by storm. Now the bigoted lady is facing the music much to her horror. Police reports have been made against her for inciting hate amongst various ethnicity echelons. Worse still, her modeling career has been in turmoil as well. Anyway, we wouldn’t want such a person to represent the Indian women of Malaysia to global arena (only if she does). It would be an utter disgrace. 

The infamous lady is not someone that we all should emulate. Take this as a lesson to be learned on how to watch what you say and coordinate your thoughts or opinions in a more respectable way. Perhaps she was just too depressed with bad experiences with guys (of the ethnicity that she criticized) that led her to be over dramatic in her emotions that ignited her to post such remarks on her social site. Poor girl if only she was cautious of what she has written on her site, and aware the rights of being a victim of circumstances, she would have not been sucked into this turmoil. Instead if she was a smart women and knows her rights to practice, she would have lodged a report against whomever harassing her in her neighborhood. I am not going to probe into her character nor justify what she did was right or wrong as it is none of my interest. But all I can say this incident is good eye-opener for the rest of us.
 

I am an avid netizen myself. I have my fair share of saying ‘insightful’ things in my life in written form; blog, word press and FB note to some extent. But I am witty enough to say what I am suppose to say and not simply raise innuendo to incite hurt in others. I am sure some of my posts have infuriated people that took it personal when I didn’t even need to mention the name. Their conscience was pinched and guilt engulfed them so much so that they even made copies of it to disseminate it making me a sensationalized writer (Ironically). Ha-ha-ha. It was unpremeditated endorsement for my write-ups and eventually earning me the name of provocative writer. This didn’t hamper my passion of writing. I was provoked to further write more of challenging topics as I always do. It gives me something to write about and it gets down really dirty. After all I would call it as serendipity if it offends anyone undeliberately (I don’t mention names here or point out explicitly).

As a matter of fact, I love to ignite the substance of broad-spectrum of social dilemmas which mostly is confrontational. It interests me to go in depth about it. It annoys many people out there whom are disturbed by it due to the resemblance to their personality (some even feel that I am writing about them). If that’s what they feel, I feel sorry for them that I had to let the whole world see through my writing what is happening around the globe. And they just happen to be exactly like how I pen down my thoughts. Too bad they had to gulp down their guilt.